Every where you go in life you must follow some sort of social rules. Whether it is waiting in line at the Post Office, or abiding by a school’s student codes. If you choose not to obey these rules the consequences could be considerable. One of the biggest establishments where you must follow social rules are theme parks. If you decided to cut your way through a busy, long hour standing line, or tamper with food from the concession stand you would have a favorable chance of being escorted out by the theme park’s security. That is exactly the concepts I want to teach you, in order to get kicked out of a major theme park. The challenge of being kicked out of a theme park is a thrilling, unforgettable experience.

When getting off a ride, especially a popular ride such as a roller coaster, have a bag of large nuts and bolts in your pocket. Upon exiting off the ride, take them out and say in a loud voice, “I thought that ride was a little shaky!” Pour the nuts and bolts in front of the entrance of the ride, to display it for everyone to see. In the result of this you will probably see the shocked faces of many people in line, and many who begin to leave in search of a safer place to enjoy themselves.

Get on a ride that that is clearly made for small children, such as the flying swings; when the ride attendant ends the ride pretend to be stuck for ten minutes, to thirty minutes. Any small children will start to squirm, and cry because they can not get a turn on the ride.

Go to a busy concession stand and order a tray of food, after you order the food put a fake bug in-between the food, preferably a roach. If there is a line, shove your way to the front and say, “does this come with the meal?’ Watch the faces of the people in line, to see their faces turn red and some my start to heave. Most people will loose their appetite, causing the concession stand to close because of lack of customers.

If you are at a water theme park, such as Sea World, bring a fishing pole, line, bait, and a plastic hook. When you approach a large tank, such as a shark tank, use your fishing equipment in order to try to fish in the shark tank. If you use real meat, you will cause the sharks to go crazy, and start swimming in to the glass tank. Quickly leave the shark tank after you have irritated them, so you can out run security.

In a special motion attraction ride at Universal Studios, go to a ride called “Jaws”. In this ride, their will be a boat that will take you through a small lake, which will simulate a shark attack by an automated shark. When you board this ride make sure the boat is crowded. When the boat stops, pretend to fall from the boat just as the shark reaches the surface. When you are pulled out of the water, have a small travel size ketchup bottle hidden underneath your pants leg, squeeze the open bottle and pretend you have gotten injured. Watch as the ride attendant and people gaze in horror, as they quickly get off the boat. When the park security arrives, they will probably ban you from the park, once they see that your injury is fake.

Get on a ride, like the Big Shot, a ride that shoots you straight up into the air about two hundred feet. Get a zip lock bag filled with rancid milk, old vegetables, and mashed fruit. As the ride starts to fall down to the ground, lean forward and spill all the contents on the people waiting in line, including the people sitting on the ride. When you get off the ride, hold your stomach and walk slowly to the ride exit. Many people will be mad, disgusted, and will probaly leave the theme park.

Every amusement park usually has elephants, whether they are in shows, a part of a ride, or live in a cage. When you are near the elephants have a tape recorder. The tape in the recorder should have a recording of lions roaring. Play the tape when you are the next to the elephants, watch the elephants stampede and go into a panic. The grounds keepers will immediately run to the area to see what has happened, and quickly walk back into the main area of the theme park.

Special effects are always a great way to make a ride more realistic. Add your own special effects by getting on a ride such as “Indian Jones”. Have a small but long, Tupperware container in your pocket. In the container, put a couple of small, three inch garden snakes. You can find these snakes at any exotic pet shops. When the ride ends dump the snakes out onto the seat. Wait by the ride exit so you can see the reactions of the people boarding the ride. The ride will probably be shut down for sometime, in order for the ride attendants to thoroughly inspect the entire attraction.

Lastly, after you have caused much disruption through out the theme park, and if you have not gotten escorted out of the park, proceed to exit through the front gate. Make sure to thank the park personnel for letting you in.

Following all of these steps will surely get you kicked out or baned from any theme park. Too many times people go to a crowed theme park, and only remember the lengthy standing lines, hot weather, and over priced souvenirs. If you follow these steps you will have a fun, eventful day, which you and many others will never forget.